I remember the day, one lazy Sunday afternoon, scrolling through my Pinterest news feed then “Bam!”, I stopped dead in my tracks at an amazing quote I discovered: “We exist in physical form for a finite amount of time”. My mind starts racing, my heart starts pounding. Soon after I was posting this quote all over my social media. It was one of those life changing moments. As a typical INFJ I could not help but explore the meanings behind this lovely quote. I decided to apply this to my life and to ingrain it as my motto.
Moving forward, I discovered some photos on my mother’s phone, i check the date of each photos and could not believe how much time has passed. 2014…Four years ago…wow…I remember taking this photo like it was yesterday. It then struck me that time on this earth is limited and within a blink of an eye, another four years will pass. Another eight years will pass. Another 12 years will pass. There I am, continuing to live my life being self consumed by my anxiety and depression, letting my mental illness take control of my life. Living my life being reactive rather than proactive. It was then that I stood dead in my tracks and asked myself sincerely: “Tiffany…is this really how you wanted to live your life…no…never”.
I realised I could no longer approach my life the way that I have been these past years. I could no longer let trivial events, matters and people consume me and pummel me down to ground sub zero. I cannot. I will not. No more.
I ponder around, as if I have woken up from a very long and almost everlasting dream. I HAVE to take control of my life and live it the way that I want to. I NEED to take back my life and take control.
Enough is enough.
Too long have I let my anxiety get the best of me. Too long have I let others bring me down. Too long have I let petty work matters get to me. Too long have I remained reactive, no matter how many times I have made a pact with myself to change. Nothing changes if you remain the same.
Nothing changes if you remain the same. Nothing changes if you remain the same. This will be the toughest journey to recovery, but I need to fight for this. I need to want this. I need to give it my 100%.